Prioritizing What Matters: Clare Perry's Inspiring Path of Empowering Others Through Cancer| MAG0013

Grace Oben: 00:00:10

Hello, hello, hello beautiful people. Welcome back to Magnetize. I'm your girl Grace Oben and today I have an amazing guest. You will love her. She is a survivor. She is a fighter. She is an overcomer. And her name is Clare Perry. Clare will be sharing with us today her story. Amazing story inspiring story. So hello, Clare, welcome to Magnetize. How are you doing today?

Clare Perry: 00:00:41

I'm wonderful. Thanks, Grace. Thank you for having me. I feel very pleasure to be here.

Grace Oben: 00:00:48

So I want to hear your story. Our listeners want to hear your story. You are an overcomer UI fighter. So can you can you just share a little bit of your, your story with us?

Clare Perry: 00:01:04

Yeah, so I'm, I'm a registered nurse in Alberta. And I did used to work in oncology, I worked at both the Tom Baker Cancer Center, and the cross Cancer Institute in Edmonton. And during COVID 19, I was diagnosed with with cancer, I have just lost my mother prior to that. And yes, and then I was presented with a bit of another obstacle to deal with. So I'm very grateful that I had the medical knowledge. So I could, you know, present to the medical system, I knew what I was dealing with in one regard and that it needed to be locked out. But yeah, unfortunately, it took the there was good and bad Silver Linings with all of it. But it took a long time to actually formally diagnosed I was originally told I had stage for a software jail or breast cancer and I was told over the phone over the phone over the phone how

Grace Oben: 00:02:22

what was that moment? Like? Like, how did you feel when you when you got that phone call.

Clare Perry: 00:02:27

Um, I felt sorry, I felt like my life just came to a halt. Unfortunately, the fear presented itself before the curiosity piece and the silver lining, but when you're diagnosed with cancer, you don't get to control the outcome. And I think that was the biggest thing for me. And I also like, I'd like to have as much information as possible. First of all, just being working in the medical background, and that's the way I'd like things done. And again, it was a lengthy process, it took 11 months to to get the formal diagnosis and figure out what we were actually dealing with. In saying that I'm very grateful because I didn't actually have stage four cancer but as I did go through the motions like I was living with stage four cancer so

Grace Oben: 00:03:36

Wow. And and now you have turn that into something that you are changing lives you are impacting lives you are coaching of the people. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? First of all how did you come up with the thoughts to say okay, I went through these biopsies I need to check out

Clare Perry: 00:04:06

so, so I it took about a year but as I said there were silver linings I'm very fortunate that I can be here and tell my story and that I get to wake up every day and not everyone is that fortunate with their cancer journey. So with my medical background and then my personal experience I feel it I feel it's my duty to go go and help others in whatever way that is and my my experience and Tali presented to the Tom Baker Cancer Center My experience was as a patient was not a positive one. I have a lot of resistance and every time I you know advocate for myself. It my doctor seemed to get her back up. So that made it really really difficult. I didn't feel like it My feelings were validated or that I was being heard or respected in the process. But yeah, I'm, I just I really, I really want to help, even if it's just one person navigating that journey, it's hard to know what things look like. I mean, when you're diagnosed with cancer, and they look at your stage, and they look at the type of cells, what type of cancer, I also speak English as the first language. And I have the medical background. So I can imagine that information, even if you do have a translator, I can't imagine going through that, and not understanding any of it. So I just want to be there and help anyone I can sell through their cancer journey, whether it's emotional support, going to their appointments with interpreting what the tests mean. So people can make informed choices. I mean, you can't make informed choices for your treatment trajectory, if you don't understand what you're dealing with.

Grace Oben: 00:06:10

I like I like something you said, or you said, You are so on that you like information. So when you got the diagnosis as or you got that information, or the diagnosis as as, as devastating as you were, or might have been, you still thought I need more information, I need to know more about this, I need to know what I'm really dealing with. And to me, I think that that's one of the most clever thing we can do. Every time we are faced with a situation that we probably don't know much about. Or we do have some information or we know some somewhat information in your case, you were already working in that department. So you you you had a bit of understanding of what cancer is, but then you needed to know more about what kind of I really dealing with, right, where are we in this face? You know, and what are my options? So I think it's always important for us to, to approach situations that way, where after the whole thing, okay, this is it. This is what it is. Now, what do I do? What do I need to know? What are my options, and that, that that could be even when someone is in a terrible financial situation? You get my point? It's always good to ask yourself, Okay, this is this is what it is, this is the situation being in denial is not going to, it's not going to take it away, it is what it is. But the thing is, how do we move forward from it? What do I need to know about this? What are my options? Right? What at what stage How bad is this thing? You get my point? So I think I also I agree with you 100%. So that now you coach, other people do you just coach women or you coach, anyone going through the same situation?

Clare Perry: 00:08:17

Our coach anyone that has a chronic disease, a chronic disease and wants to focus on their wellness, because the foundations of being healthy, whether it be diabetes, cancer, heart disease, it's all the same, right? It's taking care of yourself. I'm getting quality sleep, staying hydrated, nourishing yourself healthy foods, moving every day, and slowing slowing down. I mean, we lead busy lives, right and, and slowing down and not always being on like spending that quality time with your family. I mean, that's the biggest thing that they say that people that are on their deathbed and I worked in hospice and that's usually people's biggest regrets or that they you know, they spend all that time working which we all know that we have to do but you know, they it limits your your time with your family and you need to be present when you're with your family and and you know, present when you're working on yourself and it's easy to get caught up with the obligations in life.

Grace Oben: 00:09:28

Yeah, absolutely true. It's almost like we are on autopilot. Go go go go go. And and it's good sometimes to take that break and religious have some self care I always say to people self care doesn't have to cost you money. There are lots of self care activities that you won't spend any any dime on it. Like for example, you said go for a walk. We have Maitreya in Canada and in different parts of the world. We are blessed with nature go for a walk just That's it and I'm Amazing self care activity, but it won't cost you any money. Right? So let's say, What does magnetizing your dream life mean to you? And how did you discover these concepts?

Clare Perry: 00:10:16

I think for for your dream life, focusing on your self worth knowing, knowing your potential, knowing your values, and then carrying that forward, like being being authentic. I mean, I'm talking from the heart here, I don't know, maybe babbling a little bit, but being authentic shown showing up and, and being positive, when you look at the law of attraction positive. If your positive outlook, you get positive back, right, so, I mean, I have a girlfriend that says, you know, give to the universe in the universe will provide Don't Don't worry about how you will get clients and don't worry about the end result, like be, be present be you know, like, enjoy it, enjoy the process. And, you know, don't don't look at those self limiting beliefs. I mean, I think we all have them and have periods of self doubt, but, you know, like reprogramming that your self conscious or subconscious mind rate, and, and trying to find the positive and things I you know, we all have days where you're just like, oh, you know, like, do I have to get up and go to work today. But, you know, it's, there's always the positive, like finding gratitude, there's, you know, on, I have to do that through my cancer journey. I had to learn to laugh and, and, you know, prioritize, and really, I had to focus on the little things, you know, like, when I get, I get up, I get to get up in the morning, my legs work, I can still speak the sun's out, like all those things is great. Apps easy to take things for granted. And sometimes it does take something really big. Yeah, to, you know, change your perspective. And I do feel grateful for that. Like, I think I'm a better person, I think I'm a better mother. And I do think I understand my patients and my clients better.

Grace Oben: 00:12:23

You know, how they say that someone was complaining of not having shoes until they saw someone who didn't have legs? And they were like, Oh, my gosh. You know, and that's, I think, I think just just being grateful. And being positive. Of course, there are always challenges there are, there are things that will happen that might try to make you feel unpleasant, or might be unpleasant, for example, right? You you wake up any money, you ready for your day you have, you're looking forward to this amazing day. You're like, wow, Today's my day, I'm grateful for this day, everything will just be perfect. And then you're driving someone just decided to cut right in front of you. I know you are what is this? That has as much as we do not have control over what over the external forces or the word or how other people choose to behave. And we have the power to choose how we want what they did to affect us whether or not I want that behavior to affect my day. I'm just gonna brush up on my Well, I don't know what that dude is dealing with today. But I pray that he gets to where he's going safe. Right? And then we move on, right?

Clare Perry: 00:13:52

Yeah, so we have control reaction and how we show up every day, right? Whether it's for ourselves, or family or clients. Yeah.

Grace Oben: 00:14:01

Yeah. How many? How many times have we been in a situation where someone said something that we someone said something that normally will get off, go to get offended? And then we just say, You know what? I'm gonna prepare an idea that I'm just gonna pretend you didn't say that to me. Right. I'm just gonna prepare you this.

Clare Perry: 00:14:32

Right? And then depends on where you put your energy. Right? Yeah, absolutely.

Grace Oben: 00:14:37

And and some of the most of the time when we say that we say it, but we instill internalize that we still have to get out of how we how do we know how we respond Next, when that person approaches us? Or how do we start behaving towards that person. So as much as we said, I'm just going to pretend it A year that you heard, because now you held it against them. But how would it be like if we say, You know what, I'm gonna ignore what you just said, I'm gonna pretend it yet. And really, we walked away and just said, I'm not going to take that in, I'm just going to let it go let it fly, and then move on with our day. You know, and that's something that I'm learning a lot. You know, and it's, it's, it's a work in progress, I always say to people that my biggest goal is to be is that the grace of today is way more better than the grace of yesterday. And my goal is that the grace tomorrow will be a better grace and Grace today, you know, and that's my goal. And I am getting to that point where I just like, I'm not gonna let anything if I if something really, it's really serious. Probably an hour, I might, it might bother me for maybe an hour, most, sometimes even 10 minutes, sometimes two minutes. I'm like, you know, I got a podcast interview to do. I've gotten wrapped. I've got people live to impact. And I'm not going to let this hold me down for a minute. And I'm just going to move on to the next thing. Right, our amazing. So what's the greatest obstacle you've overcome? I mean, you just spoke about your story. This day, still, but I'm just gonna ask it anyway. So what's the biggest obstacle you've overcome? In the pursuit of your dream? Your dream life? And how did you navigate all of the obstacles, the speed bumps and the stop signs?

Clare Perry: 00:16:53

I mean, it was definitely it was definitely a difficult time. I'm not gonna deny that right? There were tears and frustration and what have you. And as I said, during that year, I had lost my mom as well, unexpectedly, and my boss had passed away, we had all of the, you know, everything to do with with COVID. And, you know, like, all of a sudden, I'm dealing with the cancer, and I'm sitting at home because I'm a work in health care, I'm allowed, you know, to to visitors, right, during COVID. And that was really difficult. Because I didn't have like the distractions, then I'd be sitting at home thinking, but you know, as I said, there's still there were silver linings with all of that. Dumb, it really, yeah, I really put things in perspective for me. You know, not to take things for granted. And, you know, what do I want to do with my life. So my, my business is built with the holistic nurse coaching or consulting in cancer coaching, my business is built, because I have that experience. And I'm very grateful for that, you know, I don't think I would have taken the risk or had the courage to do it otherwise. But I do feel like I owe people a service. And, you know, as much as you know, medical professionals will say, Don't let cancer take over. It's hard not to it messes with your mind. So, you know, I, I'm just, this is where my my business built. I really learned I learned a lot I learned a lot about myself from how to increase my coping skills. So I'm going to sell onions. And

Grace Oben: 00:18:54

yeah, it's amazing how you said that. That's where your business was built from. It's so this kind of situation where you describe us a light out of darkness. Right? Bringing light out of darkness. It's amazing. You know, as we were chatting behind camera, my I lost my mother to cancer, my dad should cancer, my elder sister. Same thing. And so I I know how what that takes, you know how much that takes from a family. What that means. It's, it's almost like a life sentence. Right? And if you don't, especially when someone doesn't have it, not a life sentence and that sentence, sorry, especially when someone doesn't have that support. And in your case, it was during COVID with the fear of this whole COVID No one knew anything that was going on. Like, what was what the heck was this, and then you had to stay home. And people could not visit you because of course, your immune system is so compromised. And I can only imagine, I can only imagine and see you, you know, still here, and then telling this to something so beautiful, that you are supporting other people to their own journeys and letting them know that, hey, I know how it feels, I know what it feels, I know what is this? This is, I have been there and trust me. It it's gonna, it's gonna be okay. You know, I'm here to support you. I'm here to walk this journey with you as much as you allow me and learn as much as I can, I think is so beautiful. And what what role do you think mindset and belief system plays in attracting your dream life? And how do you work on strengthening them?

Clare Perry: 00:21:05

My mindset, again, focusing focusing on what I can control and not on those, not on the end outcome. So try and try to enjoy the journey. And the process, which is actually a hard one for me, I'm still learning that. You know, it's hard to enjoy the process of cancer. But when you're urine that again, you have to, you have to look at things as positively as you can, regardless, and just having having those having the courage to move forward making goals as small as they may be. And the one thing I've learned is, you can still have hope, even when you're when you're dying, when you're on your deathbed, I've been taking more palliative courses and talking to an end of life doula, so sorry, I don't know if I'm getting off track here. But just Yeah, taking action, having attainable goals, looking at what makes you happy, you're looking at your values and your strengths. And, you know, everybody has them no matter what situation they're in, whether it be socio economical, or, you know, it doesn't matter where they come from, like everyone. Everyone has value, right? And it's it's just stepping back and listening. Listening to people listen to their story. Wait, yeah,

Grace Oben: 00:22:35

I liked how you talked about setting goals. Because when we have something we're looking forward to. That's, that's life, life on its own its own, that's life itself, right? When we give up when we say what's the point, that's where Death starts begin there, when we are able to set goals, irrespective of what is going on. We we have something we're working towards, we have hope. We believe that these goals that we've set for ourselves, we're going to accomplish them. You know, one thing I always say to people that irrespective of what whatever you're trying to achieve, or whatever you're going through a true in life. And I always say ask yourself, what do you want the outcome to be? What outcome are you looking for? In a case where it's a diagnose, what what do you want? What outcome do you want, I want to be healthy again. I want to be healthy. I want to live a wonderful, see my grandkids, I want to spend time with my children, I want to spend time with my family. I want to feel good again, in my own body. That's what that's the outcome you want. So now, if you figure out what the outcome is what you want, focus on what you want. When you focus on what you want, the process will be more meaningful to you. But if you don't identify or define the outcome, you're like, What do you the essence? What do I want? In the middle of all of this? What do I want? I want to be well again so that I can live a healthier life so that I can use this all dampness, this whole situation for good to help other people. That's my outcome. That's what I look forward to. Now I have something I'm looking forward to. So now it's going to help me the process become more meaningful to me. I'll be I'll be able to deal the pain in the process. Why? Because I have set my eyes on the outcome. I have set my eyes on that go on what I want to see what I want to accomplish what I want to have. So every time it becomes difficult every time the process become difficult, I remind myself, remember, this is what you're looking at, this is what you want. This is what you need to go through to get on the other side. You get my so that's so, so amazing. So is there any courageous decision that you've made that has impacted your life significantly, or your business or your career, whatever that is?

Clare Perry: 00:25:43

Was that for me? So I primarily, yeah, I primarily grew up in Ontario, and I moved to Alberta years ago, and didn't know anyone. So I, you know, I didn't have a support system. And I decided to call Alberta homes. So I started my family here, I developed my career here. And I have wonderful friends now that are like family. And, you know, when I did have to, unfortunately rely on some of them during my, during cancer. I used to be a person that I could do it on my own, I didn't need people to help me. And it was humbling, right. I mean, I was I realized that during my journey, I couldn't do it on my own, I needed, whether it was you know, somebody's going to go and get me groceries or whether it was somebody to just listen, I was fortunate enough that I have a wonderful girlfriend, and she would always say to me, tell me what you need. And I be like, Okay, this is what I need, I need you to just listen. You know? Yeah, so it is nice to have that support system, whether it be family professional. While spring is wonderful in Calgary here. The they work with cancer patients that have many, many different programs that are free. Yeah, and for me learning self care. I mean, I thought self care was having a cup of tea cans, literally, cancer, it taught me to slow down. And not to say that I do that all the time. But I have to I was forced to slow down. So yeah, I'm talking about the self care piece, you know, where cancer is the disease, it's not the person but looking at the person as a whole, right? There's so many other things, looking at the spiritual, physical, mental, you know, like looking at all of those pieces. Because even in disease when you have a disease, you can still have wellness. So, and I think that's at the forefront and has been for the last few years. But you know, my my background is oncology and, you know, I know chemo radiation, what have you but now you know, there's all these alternative therapies that can be used in combination with getting the you know, the everyday treatment free so

Grace Oben: 00:28:34

and and is that one of the information you share with your client? Like those alternatives?

Clare Perry: 00:28:40

Yeah, definitely. Right. Definitely. So like meditation, I'm doing what's called Heart Math. Certification. I'm working on that right now where it looks at self regulating your your own blood pressure and focusing on your heart rate to warm Bring, bring that down to a normal level, which does impact pain. You know, so, so there's many, many different things, some positive affirmations, journaling, that gratitude journaling, it can be painting, it can be you know, even one year when you're out in nature, like really being part of it and having your senses in tune to that rate, like what are you smelling? What are you hearing? And yeah, yeah,

Grace Oben: 00:29:36

absolutely. So, I mean, it's hard to say that we will go through a journey in life, what is personal journey, career journey, or business without having the experience where we did something and it didn't work out? I mean, it could be described as failure. But as we know, Thomas Edison says that He never failed. He just found that 10,000 With that it didn't work well during his discovery of electricity. So what's the most memorable failure you've experienced? And how did you? How did it shape your your path?

Clare Perry: 00:30:18

So what a few years ago, I left a 21 year relationship. I felt that it was no longer serving my health. I visually viewed it as a failure right now. I mean, nobody wants to see their their marriage fail. However, there are a lot of positives that came with that it taught me to be independent. It was humbling. I mean, it was hard, but it was humbling. It set me on a growth pattern, again, building that resilience and, and taking the time to focus on myself and look at what I really want. You know, also me know, obviously, I still I still have family and a child to raise but looking at myself looking at, you know, why it failed? What I could have done better really having that insight.

Grace Oben: 00:31:15

Yeah, it's amazing how you said, there were there were a lot of positive that came out of it. But it was hard. You know, and that's something I always said to people that anyway, you have all the reasons to walk away. It's, it's still doesn't make it easy. It's a difficult process. It's, it's something that you don't, you know, wish anyone go through, I had my own experience as well. So it's everyone you have every reason like enough reason to set now this is this is not just working out, this is causing me so much pain, it still doesn't make it easy to walk, you

Clare Perry: 00:31:57

know, no, definitely not. And especially when you still love the person, right? You want the best for them? And, you know, you know, or I don't want to see people in pain or what have you. But, yeah.

Grace Oben: 00:32:12

So how have you been able to stay positive focus? How have you been able to stay focused and motivated, all through, you know, you know, when you were going through your journey, you know, your cancer treatment, and even when you started building your business, because I know, obviously, when you started building a business class didn't just show up from everywhere, you know, or when you are going to your journey. It's, as you said, it was really difficult. I'm sure there were days that you felt like, oh my gosh, what is this? Am I gonna go through this? So how have you been able to say stay positive in any challenging time?

Clare Perry: 00:32:57

Me, I mean, it is looking at what my intention is my purpose with the business which is to serve others and and it is my legacy. I mean, if my cancer returned, and I, you know, I want to be able to show my daughter thought, you know, let's

Grace Oben: 00:33:15

agree on something. The cancer is not returning ever, ever.

Clare Perry: 00:33:23

Great. I mean, I'm hoping it doesn't but but, but when I when, sorry, when I look at that, but I mean, I want my daughter to see that I made a positive impact on people that I worked hard, and something came up that rate. Staying motivated again, it said it, it's serving, serving others. So I mean, I'm a nurse, I don't have any business sense what so ever. So I'm learning. I genuinely like to learn. It's hard to learn about things that you don't know anything about that is totally outside your comfort zone. But I mean, that's, that is part of the process. And you know, I've met some amazing people that you know, wouldn't connections with building the business and like minded people, so that makes a difference, right? I mean, obviously, you know, my my friends, they want to see me happy, they want to see me succeed, and they see how important this is to me like this isn't, this isn't just a job like this. This is something that is really dear to my heart. And you know, I have seen many and served many, you know, cancer clients, and really, I've learned so much from them and the courage that it takes, especially especially for the people that are extremely sick. So, just just yet again, setting those goals and not losing sight. Coming back to the race numbers we have To restart, I mean, I have days when I'm just like, You know what I know I, I need to do this for the business. But this is just not the day to do it right and in giving yourself that grace. Grace.

Grace Oben: 00:35:14

Grace, yeah, give yourself that grace. I think that's, that's also something that I'm really learning to do. You know, to give myself permission to say, today, I'm not going to do anything. I'm just going to relax, and just spend time with myself. Watch a really good movie and listen to good news. Just do only things that I love. I'm not gonna do any administrative work. I'm not gonna do any interviews, and not feel guilty about it. Because

Clare Perry: 00:35:49

I'm gonna say that or no, yeah, a lot of women do, right. I mean, I've had that prefer, you know, well, don't, don't you know, like, you know, a partner saying, like, well, don't you have things to do? Well, yes. I always have things to do. Right? There's always laundry in the mundane things. Great. But yeah, yeah. Like, sometimes it's a day off is, you know, how can you serve other people when you're completely depleted yourself? Right?

Grace Oben: 00:36:19

Absolutely. Absolutely. I had to learn that because I will, I will feel so guilty. If I spend an hour just sitting, I will feel guilty. I'll be like, Grace, you've got all these things to do you have this to do you have this to that do. And you just sit you just wasted I called it waste in the past, you just wasted an hour sitting. And now I have come to learn that I deserve that. I deserve that, I deserve to take an hour to take two hours and said, I'm not going to do anything for these two hours, I'm just going to sit and just relax. And if I choose to watch a movie, during that time I watch a movie, if I choose to have a nice warm beverage, I will do that. If I choose to just listen to music and just let it sink, and then just enjoy it. I'm gonna do that. And every time I want to have the total of all you need to or what about, I just, you know, cast it out constantly. And just get my mind in a place where my mind is just relaxed. And I will get that I will go through those two hours or one or whatever that is, and just enjoy it and really digest it and feel good about it. Because I deserve it. I'm worthy of it. Yeah,

Clare Perry: 00:37:49

it's investing in yourself and feeding your soul rates. So yeah. And I found that when I was sick, like I'm quite empathetic, but I found it was harder to be empathetic with others because I was dealing. I was dealing with my, my own stuff, right. And I would have clients say, you know, you're not your charity. So what's going on? And, you know, of course, you don't want to adult, you know, bring up that information. It's not the place to do that. It's not professional, but, you know, I was really feeling it. So yeah, yeah. And now I feel guilty if the if the dust bunnies have to wait one more day. It's okay. Yeah, they're not they're not going anywhere rate.

Grace Oben: 00:38:36

Absolutely. Yeah. And also, it's okay. To say to yourself, yes, I have 234 dishes, the dishes have plates in the sink. And I'm gonna wash them. I'm gonna watch them in 30 minutes, or I'm gonna watch them in an hour. Bye for now. I'm just going to relax. And then later I'll go to them. But I think that's that's something that as women we really struggle with, you know, we

Clare Perry: 00:39:05

do we do. The, you know, if you if you look at life, I mean, my child is not like she's gonna remember the experiences that we have not the fact that my house was clean, perfectly right. And that's something I've learned the hard way as well. I've lost out on some wonderful experiences when she was younger, because, you know, trying to keep up with everything. But now, I did give myself permission to Yeah, we're gonna go out and do something. And you know, she will remember that. Yeah,

Grace Oben: 00:39:42

yeah. And I think also the permission to give yourself for us to learn how to give ourselves the permission to say no, or yes, yeah. You know, to say, that sounds really great. It sounds like fun. But thank you, but no I'll pass, you know, and not feel guilty about it. I think it's really important. Yeah. So I know you spoke about some of the rituals that you do like meditation, positive affirmation that you even take your clients through. So what other rituals or routines that you incorporate into your daily life to align with your dream life.

Clare Perry: 00:40:27

My biggest thing is positive affirmations that came out when I was some going to my counselor, and I just, I just get them on the phone, like things pop up, and I start, it puts me in a very positive mindset. So that's one that I do meditations so I will just do, you know, just not every day. But during that mindful meditation through video, again, that gratitude, um, definitely the nature bathing. I mean, that's how I ended up living in Alberta, because of the mountains and the mountains are my happy place. I just feel so calm and so happy when I'm there, and then making that time to go to the mountains Wait, but I mean, it doesn't have to be there. Although I do love their, their beauty, I never get tired of going there. But you know, what Fish Creek Park is, is close by, and that is a big one for me and decreasing the social media, like I found during during COVID, especially reIatives. Like, okay, you know, you get bombarded with a lot. And it's like, sometimes I needed to just tune it out, even though I work in healthcare, but not not be so focused on that right and focus on other things that are positive and yeah,

Grace Oben: 00:42:01

absolutely. So have you ever encounter resistance from others regarding your pursuit of your dream life? And how did you handle it? Because sometimes we have friends or family members who try to say, you know, discourage us not because they just don't want us to be successful, then because they're concerned that what if we don't make if we don't, if we fail? Or if it doesn't work out what that will do to us? So have you ever have you ever experienced anything like that?

Clare Perry: 00:42:34

I have friends ask why I would, why I would take the risk and yeah, and some that just don't understand the whole listing, holistic nursing perspective, right? Or, well, you're a nurse, like, what do you what do you mean, you're gonna go and do coaching? So explaining, Ashley, what it is, I mean, it's fairly fairly new. So, yeah, I just, I surround myself with like minded people, as I said, I've met many people through connecting. And that's been wonderful. And, I mean, I can be quite shy when I'm out of my element, and definitely have experienced that discomfort while growing. But that's part of it. Right? Like, you know, you have to get out of your comfort zone to, to propel yourself forward. Yeah, yeah. So it's, you know, like, as I said, you know, the, the people that genuinely care for me are going to want to celebrate this, even if it's small successes. Yeah. Absolutely.

Grace Oben: 00:43:41

Absolutely. So there are lots of people out there who are in that phase of the life where they really want to go for their dream life, they want to do something else, whatever they're doing now is really not working. They could see how it's how it's affecting their life, their lifestyle, their health, their happiness, from family dynamics, but they don't have the courage, you know, to say, You know what, I'm gonna take that leap. And I know I'm gonna I might fall and if I fall and I have some bruises, but you know what, those bruises are gonna heal that so how what advice would you give to someone like that? Who is just feeling stuck on shore? About how to manifest their dream life? What What will you say to that person?

Clare Perry: 00:44:40

And say, like, set a goal that is important to you. Don't lose sight of it. Don't give up yeah, like just how have have the courage. You have to believe in yourself for it to happen if you want others to believe in in what you're doing, I'm sorry, I don't know why you're stuck. That's just, you know, you have to look at, you have to look at your values and your strengths. And you have to look at what will make you happy, you need to know what will make you happy. And changing your mindset. Instead of well, what will happen if, if I don't succeed? What will happen if you do succeed? Like, what does that look like for you? So envisioning that even what hasn't happened yet? How would that affect your life in a positive manner? How would it affect your family or others freight? And, you know, I mean, obviously, you have to put the work in. I mean, I could, you know, my goal could be I want to be a millionaire, but you know, that's not really that's not aligned to my, my values, or, you know, what have you. But, um, so being being realistic as well. But you've got to put you've got to put the work in as well. Rate? Yeah. So if you put the work in and you stay committed, and, and baby steps, you know, moving forward, as long as you're moving forward.

Grace Oben: 00:46:12

Yeah, you know, absolutely. Doesn't

Clare Perry: 00:46:15

have to be sorry, go ahead. Oh,

Grace Oben: 00:46:18

no, you go ahead. Sorry.

Clare Perry: 00:46:19

I just said, there doesn't have to be a timeline, sometimes things take time. And they take a lot longer than what we would like, right, it's, it's easy to get impatient. When you don't see something happening. Like it's like losing weight rate. If you don't see yourself losing the five pounds, it's harder to propel yourself forward and feel motivated. But you know, it will happen if you keep working on it, it just may not be on the timeline that you want.

Grace Oben: 00:46:48

Absolutely. I think that's so true. And just to be true to yourself, I think that we are really true to ourselves honest to ourselves. And again, at the end of the day, what why do you want what you want? Why do you want that dream life? Whatever that is? Why do you want it? And as you said, envision yourself living that life. Sit down and really see yourself live in the lab. How did you feel? When you imagine yourself, visualize yourself living that life? You know, how did you feel? Did it did it did it make you feel so good, you know, and the steps you need to do the work and doing the work is not different from you doing the work that you're doing now, to end the money you end in now. Either way, you're doing something to get whatever you get in now. So the thought of you having to do the work, to become that person, or to have that dream life that you love to have. It's not different from you waking up every day and show up at work to end a salary at the end of the month, or at the end of tomorrow. Wait, whatever that is, you know, or whatever you're doing now to earn whatever you earn, it's no different. We always have to do something. Right? We'll always have to do something. So I think being being real to yourself, being true to yourself, and having a really clear, clear, clear vision of what you want. Having that clear vision of what you want, and really sit with yourself and say, Is this what I really want? You know, is this what I really want?

Clare Perry: 00:48:46

Yeah, if you if you show up as your authentic self, it certainly makes it a lot easier. Yeah, it doesn't seem like a job rate.

Grace Oben: 00:48:55

Yeah, not because someone is telling you, but because you are thinking this is the life I would really love to live. And what do I need to do? To have this life that I would love to live? Do you want to always sit there and wish and wish and wish and wish and wish and never have to see or experience what truly that life can be like, Oh my look like and just always just allow fear to hold you back. Or allow the voices of others who are saying really like like in your case. What do you mean you want to be a coach, you are a nurse? No, there was a time you were not a nurse. You get my point. There was a time that you were not a nurse. So yes. You get my point. But then people will say that because they if they think that this is who you are, this is who you are. What are you talking about leaving all of these shoes that this but when we are true to ourselves this says what our heart magnet is calling us to do, then we will appreciate their sub concern. They will say, You know what? This is, this is what I really want. And when you know your why you are clear with your why you are, you know, this is this is what I wanted to hear you do it. You were doing? Yeah. So, is there any Yeah, I think oh, yeah, go ahead. No, go ahead.

Clare Perry: 00:50:28

Yeah, I was just gonna say, I mean, I, I mean, years ago, I was a perfectionist, and I, you know, I have everything's like, in my mind the way I wanted my life to go. So again, that's some even since I've been divorced, and with the cancer and losses in my, my family, it's, I've had to change. I've had to change what my dream looks like, right? And that's okay, for things to change the scope of change with you. You know, I thought my life would end up a certain way. And and sometimes that can, that can be hard to wrap your head around, right? Well, this is like, where do I go from here? When I'll just say when I was during the cancer, I didn't have any dreams. And that was a, I wouldn't say mistake, is it? It's more of a learning, learning curve. But I was, you know, I waited until okay, you're in remission. I was like, no, like, we need to dream no matter what stage we're at in life, no matter what's going on Wait. There's always going to be challenges and things thrown at us. So that was that was very different for me. But I'm sorry. So you're saying about projects, big projects going on. I am collaborating with a clinic called candid wellness. And they specialize in lymphedema, whether it be from breast cancer or other surgeries. So I am signing on with them as the independent contractor for a holistic nurse coach, and we'll be doing you know, we'll be sharing resources and referrals back and forth and working together. But ultimately, I will still be my own business. Yeah, that's

Grace Oben: 00:52:27

so Clare, if someone wants to find you, because I think you are doing an amazing work. And that is really impacting lives, transforming lives. If someone wants to find you, and to get to work with you how they find here.

Clare Perry: 00:52:47

They can look at my website, and it is clarity now just spelt differently. It's actually my name, clare-itycalm.ca

Grace Oben: 00:52:57

my son, a thank you so much for your time. It's been an amazing time with you. And thank you for sharing your story and even like the work you do, that is changing lives impacting lives and making a difference. And you heard her find her check out her website. I think she's doing an amazing work. And that was it for this episode of magnetize annual risk with Grace grace for them and check out my website, providenceguide.com. And also you can get my book from Amazon. Don't Give Up Yet. You can still get it right. That's the title of my of my book. You can find it on Amazon. And this concludes this episode of today. And have an amazing time and see you next week. Bye for now.

Clare Perry: 00:54:00

Thank you Grace. Thanks for your time.