Growing Through What We Go Through| MAG0014

Grace Oben: 00:00:03

Hello, hello welcome back to Magnetize I'm your girl Grace Oben and happy week, happy new week, I just would like to talk to you today, on growing through what we go through, growing through what we go through, you know, in the marketplace of life, as I will call it, there are challenges. However, these challenges are not meant to break or bring us down. If we will look for the lessons and the blessings that are wrapped up. In those challenges. There are times we go through a situation and we wander in if this too shall pass. When we are in the winter, in the winter of our life, you know, we have seasons, in our in life, just like we have the natural season we have the winter of our life, we have the spring, the summer, the fall, just just like the natural season. So when we when we are in the winter, or fall our life we have the choice to either grow through whatever it is that situation we are going through or we allow it to bring us down to break us to discourage us.

Grace Oben: 00:02:18

You know, as for me, I made the decision some years ago that I am going to grow through every situation, every challenge, every difficult time I go through your life, I'm going to see it as an opportunity for me to learn something that is going to help me to grow through that situation. And when we are going through a situation in life when we are experiencing difficult times. We don't need to wait until after the fact for us to sit back and and reflect on the situation and said oh what is a lesson that I need to learn from this situation. We can grow through a situation even while we are still going through it. While we are in the middle of that difficult situation while we are in the middle of that challenge. We can grow, still make up our mind we can still make make the choice. We can still make a conscious decision to grow through it. I promise you, if you always make the choice to grow through every situation while you are still going through it is going to preserve your nerves. It's going to minimize the damage that stressful situation is going to do on your body is going to is going to give you the mental strength to go through that situation. I remember so many years ago when I relocated to Canada. It was a completely new experience for me. It taught Happy new experience for me new country new culture. And I really didn't know anyone. When I headed out to Canada It was the first time ever in my life that I was in a country that I didn't have any of my family members in that country. It was the first time ever in my life that I was all alone without any family member in a country. And it was one of the most difficult times one of the most difficult times, you know, I had to learn a lot I had to learn how to fend for myself do things for myself, I really had to learn a lot. And it was so difficult that there were times that I cried. There were times that I thought about going back home. You know, just just going back. There was there were times that I said to myself, Grace, you don't have to stay here. Because it was difficult. There were times that I had no idea what to do, how to do what, it was hard. But then I thought about it. I said, okay, yeah, I have the option to go back to my home country. Bed? Is that what I really want?

Grace Oben: 00:06:52

Is this gonna solve any problems for me? Is this gonna help me achieve my goals? My dream? Is this going to help me build the life of my dream? Is this going to help me build the life that I really love? It is going to help me grow? Is this going to help me become a better version of myself? And the answer was no. Even though I had the option to return to my hometown, it was not the best option. And I had to make the decision, I had to make the choice to stay and grow through those challenges. One at a time, one after the other. I had to make up my mind make up my mind to, to learn everything I needed to learn. To be able to, to, to grow through this new challenges, this to build this new life. And I decided to stay and today I am happy that I stayed. I have grown so much. So much. From when I relocated to Canada and that was in 27 2007. I have grown so much, so much. I am now an author. I am a speaker. I am a mentor, I am a coach. I do so much so much that have impact the lives of so many. I am a host of magnetized podcast, I launched my magazine brand magnetized mag magazine. So much I have accomplished so so much that I might not have accomplished if I had made up if I had made the choice to go back to my hometown to my home country. So as much as we have the option to give up to give in to change our mind. The question we want to ask ourself every time we find ourselves in a situation where we have to make a choice. The question we have to ask ourselves is if I give up if I give in If I change my mind, is this going to produce the result I want? Is this gonna help me build a life of my dreams? Is this gonna help me accomplish what I really want to accomplish? Just because we have the choice to back out, or to give up, or to change your mind and take a completely different direction doesn't mean we'll always have to do it, we have to really ask ourselves if that is what we really want. There is a reason why we choose to do what we choose to do. And just because we we, we come across some difficulties or some challenges doesn't mean it's a ticket for us to give in order for us to convince ourselves that I really don't have to do this. Anyways, I made the choice to do this. So I can change my mind anytime. It doesn't always have to be like that. I don't know what you are going through. Maybe you decided to start a business and your business and now you are encountering some difficulties, some challenges, and you are thinking, Well, I really don't have to do this business. It was my choice in the first place to go into business. Yes, it was your choice. But then before you made that choice, there was a reason why you made that choice. It might just be that you have just started a new program. Maybe in the university might be a diploma program, certification program, a master's program, a program, a bachelor program, a Ph. D, program, whatever the case. And now, it's almost like it's you are you are facing some difficulties. And you are thinking, Well, I don't have to do this program. Remember that there was a reason why you sign up for that program in the first place. There was a reason there is a reason why you decided to embark on that journey. There is a reason why you decided that you wanted to do whatever you decided you whatever you decided to do. So the challenges you are facing the difficulties you are facing, they are not meant to discourage you, they are not meant to break you. They are not meant to bring you down they are meant to help you grow. You might be facing some difficulties in your in your your business, maybe some betrayal, some disappointment. I just want to encourage you, I just want to let you know that it's not made to break you down. Maybe you got betrayed by someone you trust it. Maybe your business partner walked away. And now you are left with debt to pay or this business that you have no idea how you're going to continue all by yourself. Maybe you are involved in some business partnership with someone and at one point, you just realize this is not working this partnership, this relationship is not working or you decided to to walk away and now you wonder whether that was the right decision. Because now you're facing some challenges, maybe financial difficulties. And you wondering if it was the right decision to walk away. The question you want to ask yourself is Was there a reason why you decided to walk away in the first place? Was it working out? And if you had enough reason, then you don't need to stay in a place of regrets. You've made the move. Now it's time to grow through whatever challenge whatever difficulties you're going through. Ask yourself what is the lesson in this? What do I need to learn in this whole situation? Giving up is not the best option. Learning through it and growing through that experience is a better option now I'm going to share four levels of states of awareness with him

Grace Oben: 00:15:30

the first one is the why me state why me? Why me? Why me? At this state we feel like life is happening to us this is the why misstate. We feel like a victim of circumstances. We feel like a victim in life. We feel like life is happening to us. We ask questions like why is this happening to me? Why me? We would say things like look at what they did to me. Look at what he did to me. Look at what she did to me. Look at what my spouse did to be look at what my boss did to me. Look at what my colleague did to me. Look at what my friend did to me. Look at what my business partner did to me. And sometimes we will go we will say oh, let me tell you what happened to me today. Oh, you wouldn't believe what happened to me today. And then we go on to share this. PT, powerless story. We feel like a victim

Grace Oben: 00:17:35

there is absolutely no power in victimhood. Absolutely no power in victimhood.

Grace Oben: 00:17:51

Absolutely no power in victimhood pity party will not cannot, does not empower anyone. pity party does not, cannot and will not empower you. Now, I am not saying that when someone is going through a difficult time, we are not to empathize with them or comfort them. Absolutely, we should. It's just the right thing to do. Because then they get to know that there are people who truly care about them. Then we are not to get comfortable staying in that place where we feel pity for ourself or we enjoy people pitting us fill in PT for us because PT party will never does not cannot and will not empower him. The second state of awareness is the by me, state of awareness by me. For us to move into this state of awareness, we will need to give up our victimhood. This is a state where we recognize that life is not happening to us but that we are a part of something called life. We recognize that we are a part of what is happening In. Yeah, we lay claim to what I call, response ability, our ability to choose that we can respond in any way we want to, we come to recognize that we do have the choice of our thinking. We can choose what we want to make out of any situation, out of any circumstance. And we can choose whether to be defeated. Or to change that failure to be a feedback. We can choose to become bitter about what happened, or we can choose to become better. It's all up to us.

Grace Oben: 00:21:12

The third state of awareness is through me state. Through me, this is a state where we realize that what ever we go through in life is so that we get rightly positioned to lift others. We recognize that whatever we go through is for a purpose. And we start using it for the purpose for which it was intended.

Grace Oben: 00:21:58

If we give everyone you know, there are a lot of people, a lot of people out there that if we give them the opportunity, and even you, you might be listening to me, if we give people the opportunity to, to share why they do what they do. You will be amazed how many people will tell you that they do what they do because of what they went through. And they came to that point where they realize that they recognize that whatever they went through, was for a purpose. And they turn that pain around for something good, to help others to coach others to mentor others, to guide others to encourage others, to comfort others. A lot of coaches out there will tell you that they became a coach, because of a difficult experience. They went through life because of something they experienced in life. There are a lot of coaches out there that help people through their healing journey, because they themselves went through that same predicament. They experienced that sickness, that form of sickness, whatever it is. I had a guest on my podcast one time, cool. Coaches, cancer patients, who coaches cancer patients, through their journey, their healing journey because she also went through cancer. And God healed and recover and recovered. And now she is coaching other people through their journey. She's helping them what an amazing testimony. And there are tons of people out there like that, who are doing what they're doing today because they went through that situation and now they have developed a coaching program to help other people who are going through the same situation. The through me state of awareness, where we recognized we recognize that whatever we go through or whatever we went through in life was for a purpose. And we start using it for the purpose for which it was intended. To the fourth and final state of awareness is us me, state of awareness, this is the state where you become one with life you are in oneness with life. This is the state where you recognize that you are one with life you are alive in its totality You are life itself you are happening this is the state where irrespective of what happens, you remain on shakable you remain on movable you deny the power of any storm any situation to control your present or your future this is the state where you are at peace this is where you you can have peace of mind where peace of mind is possible in the middle of a storm. This is a state where you realize you recognize that you are a thermostat not a thermometer, there is a difference a thermostat controls or regulates the temperature of the room the thermostat regulates the room temperature whereas the room temperature or the whereas the thermometer is regulated by the room temperature the thermostats the thermostat regulates the room temperature by the thermometer is regulated by the room temperature it doesn't matter what the temperature is outside it can be minus 40 it can be minus 45 it can be minus 30 determines that decides what the room temperature is going to be like. That is when you become a feminist

Grace Oben: 00:27:50

you control from the inside out, not outside in. You decide what controls your emotions. What determines your day you wake up in the morning and you decide how your day is going to be like irrespective of what happens

Grace Oben: 00:28:25

you decide how it's going to be you are in control you are on the driver's seat of your life. Irrespective of the speed bombs and the stop signs and the the potholes it doesn't matter. You hold that cheering core life and you determines the speed limits

Grace Oben: 00:28:58

you are in control you are on the driver's seat. Your emotions. Not base how you feel on a particular day is not based on what happened or what did not happen. You are at peace in the middle of a stone. People look at you and a wonder and they ask you how do you do it. The state of awareness as me state of awareness

Grace Oben: 00:29:52

I don't know what you are going through I do not know what you might be going through my question to you is, can you make up your mind? Can you make a conscious decision? Can you make the choice that irrespective of what or how you are going to grow through whatever it is you're going through it's possible it's your decision. It's your choice. You have what it takes

Grace Oben: 00:30:46

but you have to choose to

Grace Oben: 00:30:59

it's your choice. You can change what is happening, but you can grow through what you're going through. And you will be amazed how strong you'll come out of that situation. You will come out of that situation stronger, wiser and more determined.

Grace Oben: 00:31:33

You need to make the choice. So of up to you. It's all up to you.

Grace Oben: 00:31:49

It's all up to you.

Grace Oben: 00:31:56

It's all up to you. So go Grace Oben. Have an amazing week. And bye for now.