A Tragic Loss and a Life Transformed | MAG0010

Grace Oben: 00:00:00

Hello beautiful people. Welcome back to magnetize podcast. It's your girl Grace Oben. And today I have the beautiful, amazing Michelle Abraham all the way from Vancouver, Canada. And Michelle will be sharing us her story. You know so Michelle Abraham is a renowned international speaker, podcast pioneer enterpreneur and high vibe visionary. With a deep passion for podcasting, entrepreneurship and living life on her terms. She is the go to expert in her field. For over a decade, Michelle has been on a mission to demonstrate that podcasts are the ultimate platform for change one episode at a time, you will often find Michelle on global stages microphone in the hand captivating audiences with her insight into podcasting, entrepreneurship, and the transformative power of high vibe living. So welcome the beautiful Michelle Abraham from Vancouver. Michelle, thank you so much. It's such an honor to have you here today on Magnetized podcast. You know, I have been so inspired by you, your work your community, and I have been privileged to benefit from what you do the work you do. And you are such an inspiration. I love your energy. I love your vibe. You know, like there is no dull moment around you. And you just have so much wisdom that you share, you know. And I am so honored to have you today on my podcast. So welcome, Michelle.

Michelle Abraham: 00:01:56

Oh my gosh, thank you so much grace, I am so honored to be here as well. I equally admire you and have been inspired by you as well. And I know girl, you walk into a room and people are magnetized by values. So this is such a good name for a podcast. I love it.

Grace Oben: 00:02:14

Thank you so much, Michelle. Thank you. So let's dive right in. So Michelle, you know, I always say life is a journey. And any journey of life, there are speed bumps, stop signs, U turns, you name it. And I know that someone like you with all the successes that you've had in business in life, I know that there have been some crisis as well, there be some challenging times, there have been some, you know, wake up calls. So can you just share with us one of those, you know, challenging major challenging life experiences that you've gone through, or one of those wake up calls that you've gone through in life? Absolutely.

Michelle Abraham: 00:02:58

And you know, I think I think back at this time, and this is a real dark moment. But I'm going to share it today I was trying to think of what what what, which one of those bumps has two bumps and pitfalls. I wanted to share because there's been a lot, the journey of entrepreneurship is not Australe. And this is not even a journey and entrepreneurship. But it's been a story that's really impacted my entrepreneurship journey. So I'm going to take you back to when I was 19 years old. And I just spent a year living as an au pair in Switzerland. So I was a nanny for a family and they're half Canadian, half Swiss, and the kids spoke from English. And so my job was to help teach them English and help them learn how to ski and second, teach them how to ski in the Alps. So had an amazing year, I met so many other girls, who were also pairs from Canada and the US and England and we went on trips to Amsterdam on the weekend and we went trips to France and all over the place. And so two of my best friends from high school flew all the way to Europe, to Switzerland to meet me. And together we embarks on a backpacking trip for it was going to be three months long, and I was so excited to see them. They're so excited to see me we had a blast. And about six weeks into the trip. We found ourselves in a small little town in the south of France. And I we just come from Greece and Greece for me was a bit of a party party experience. We play that loser volleyball every day by the beach and I happen to have broken a couple of my toes. It's not very smart to run around a wet a wet pool deck playing volleyball when you've had a lot of ouzo so I broken a couple of toes. My friend and I want to our other friend had her name is Cecilia. She was she wanted to go see the night lights of Monaco so that's where her parents had met, and we decided to all go there for dinner. and see the lights of Monaco and is beautiful. And my other friend Robin and I wasn't feeling good because my feet I couldn't walk very far. So I needed to get a train help Robin needed to get a train as well. So we took a train home, and we got in there to the hostel. And we went to bed. And our other friend Cecilia stayed out with some of the other people we were traveling with. They wanted to explore some more, and we get a knock at our door. Three o'clock in the morning, ma'am, Madame, madame, there's been an accident, you need to come. And I thought to myself, That's really weird. I'm like, I had thought before we went out for dinner. When I was out on the balcony. I thought like, there's gonna be an accident, we're going to have to go home and have this weird premonition. And I don't know why I had it. But I said to my friend, Robin, I'm like, Oh, I had a premonition about that. Sicilians like broken a leg or something, we need to bring her covered in, let's go to the hospital. And we get to the hospital. And she's not there. This is another guy that we met, traveling that we were that we were hanging out with that night. And he was there. And he said that they had missed the last train. And they decided to walk back to the hospital, but they had to walk along the train tracks. And they didn't realize that the trains kept going on that track all night, just because they didn't stop at our stop. So they went through a tunnel. And he went one way and she went the other and she was killed. And he was still alive and sitting in the hospital. And poor guy had to tell us this. And so that moment changed the trajectory of my life. So I learned at 19 that your life is very short, you don't know how long you have to live. And our friend had just like, really blossomed as like a teenager. And you know how to her first kiss and our first like, you know, first love and you know, fruit, so many first things on that trip. And you know, she was just about to share her life with the world. And it ended. So I learned so early that you just don't know how much time you have. So it's sent me on a journey of 10 years of traveling and skydiving, bungee jumping and doing all sorts of crazy things because you don't know how long you have to live. And you know, I share that story as an entrepreneur now because it's the reason I do what I do is I want people to get their message out there in the world and want them to share their message because you don't know who's listening on the other side. So when you're you're on a podcast or a stage and someone hears your message, you change your their life by your message. That is the that's that's all that you're here for that that your job is done. Like that, to me is like so amazing. So my friend, Cecilia didn't get a chance to share her message with the world, her life and it's so early. And so I share with my clients now that you're used to have time in your your youth to get that message out there into the world. So I'm sorry to take you guys to that deep dark hole first. But the lesson on it was a blessing. And she has been alongside with me cheering me on from the other side. This whole time I'm sharing my message with the world. So she's really been the reason that I've gotten my message out there in the world in a bigger way. It's a lot of things to her.

Grace Oben: 00:08:10

Oh my gosh, that. That's, that's deep. That's like, I don't know, but that must have been really terrifying. Like, one moment you are with your friend. The next moment, she was dead, you know, in some train track. Like I can only imagine so. So then what happens? Like did you stay there? Did you leave? Like how did you communicate this to the parents? Like how how did it the next few days, weeks? What what happened?

Michelle Abraham: 00:08:50

It was a blur. Like as he like you know, when tragedy hates like sometimes you just go into like, response mode and like it was just simpler. So literally my friend Robin and I they packed up our bags, packed up her bags and got out of the hospital. It was and then we got into the cab. And we're like, it's five o'clock in the morning. Where are we? Where are we going and like that's like, we were just like home, we gotta get home, we gotta get home. That's all we could think about is just like getting the heck out of there and getting home because it was like so painful. And we actually had to go by the police station. We had to identify her, her her like jewelry and things like that. And there was some weird thing because it was like 11 like 12 hours after a solar eclipse and in France, they believe something crazy happens. So the police were like, Well, maybe he must have pushed her and we're like no, he definitely didn't push her like this guy was was you know very much in love with her. And definitely that was not the case and it was just one of those things that we just went into response mode and got wanted to get home as quick as we can. So we got into the cab. We got to the airport, we found a flight back to England where our flights back to Canada were. But then the next crazy thing that happened was, well, when we got to the when we got to the airport, I made my friend make the phone call to her dad, because I just I couldn't. It was the most horrible thing that we never have to share with someone. And I just my heartbreaks, every time I think about that phone call, it was just horrible. And when we got to the airport, my friend said to hear we had all of our bags, and we will be coming, you know, a year apart into the Europe. So we flew in different terminals. So she said, I'm going to go check my flight in my terminal. And just to date myself, this was like 1999. So we actually didn't have cell phones. So she went to the other terminal. And the ticket agent said you can get on this flight right now. And go or are you have to wait two more days or something like that. And so she called her parents and Canada told them that she was getting on the flight. They called my parents and then when I called my parents to check in with them, they said she said that she had to get on the flight and she's not coming back. So there I was left there with my bag, her bag, our friends bag. And it was I was very, I was very not okay by myself for the next like several hours, but the airport staff and were so kind and had a family member that works high up in Canada Customs. And so they were able to get me a first class flight and nice comfortable seat and my parents were able to come right to the gate to meet me and I hadn't seen my parents in a year. And so it was not really it's not the way I wanted to come home. But I was grateful that I was going home.

Grace Oben: 00:11:43

Wow, that's, that's that's something else. So I'm sure how did this experience in party impact your life? Yeah,

Michelle Abraham: 00:11:52

it's impacted my life in so many ways. And I think, you know, I went on this, like, I'm young, and I'm going to travel. And I guess I think what it really if I looked back at it was I was I moved. So I moved from Vancouver, I went home and it felt uncomfortable to be there. Because I hadn't been there in so long. And everyone, you know, was it was kind of weird. It was kind of weird being back there with this, this tragedy. And, you know, I think for me, the easiest thing to do is to pack up and move on my next next adventure. So I got a job at a ski resort in, in, in in Calgary, and I moved to Banff and I had my next adventure there. And then I moved to the my next adventure. And then I got on cruise ships. And I moved to another ski resort and I did another adventure and i i kept moving and traveling over the next 10 years. All because I was like, Well, life is so short, I want to make the most of it. But if I look back now, I think I was running from my grief. Because no matter where I went there I was. And thinking that I was changing locations and making new friends and all that was going to help me heal. It was actually I was just running from a healing and just not healing. And it wasn't until I started speaking on stages about my gosh, so it's been 15 years since that accident, but it was only probably in the last five years, that when he started speaking on stages, and he started telling that story. I was still really emotional about that story. And not that it's never gonna not hurt, but it just was showing that hadn't really hadn't processed that grief and I really hadn't dealt with that group. And my way of dealing with it was just going on to the next big adventure the next thing to keep my myself going to keep myself excited, but not dealing with really that hurt and that loss.

Grace Oben: 00:13:51

Yeah, it will just avoiding avoiding really dealing with that because it that I can only imagine how terrifying and the shock and everything that you might have felt with your your your friend already the other friend was alive as well. And yeah, one of one of the things that we do when when we experience something that tragic, we try to, to avoid dealing with it, we run away we try to get ourselves so busy, you know, convince ourselves like you said, Life is short, I have to leave live but then years later you realize that that was not the real reason behind you, you know, moving from one place to another just been adventure and

Michelle Abraham: 00:14:41

I was dealing with it by doing that.

Grace Oben: 00:14:44

Yeah, it was it was more of you avoiding to really face that that grief and really, you know, process what really happened and you were just thinking I mean, the young youth teenager you were like, you know this this is just when I'm busy. Leaving live going doing all this adventure, you know, I'm gonna heal in the process, and then I will not I won't have to sit back and deal with, with that, you know, the thought of it and all those things. So how did that experience shaped your perspective on life, and relationships and your own personal goals,

Michelle Abraham: 00:15:26

it changed everything, it changed my whole perspective and whole trajectory, I am so grateful for that experience, in some ways, because I had love for I've lived my life a very different way, because of that experience. And so I've, I've always, you know, had that life is really short, make the most of it. So I've probably taken a lot more risks, and probably, you know, lucked into more adventures and, you know, started businesses and, you know, refuse to, you know, settle in life, because of that experience. And, you know, I've always chosen my own path instead of, instead of the path that probably most people would have taken. And I, you know, I'm grateful for that. But also, that's kind of it, I can imagine, it probably would have been a very two to two very different lives, if that had not happened versus if when it had went, because it has. So I think that I love the way that it's turned out looking back. But it definitely came from something that was not a positive thing. Yeah,

Grace Oben: 00:16:46

and I can, I can really relate to you because I also, like lost a couple of friends really close friends, not not the same way you lost your friend, that that we were like, in our early 20s, you know, and I was so afraid to at times that I thought maybe this because it was just happening a lot during that time. And I I was so afraid I was so sad. I was confused, I couldn't understand what was happening. I also like you tried to distract myself, like always go out and hang out. I, I was afraid to be by myself, even like to sleep, it was difficult, it was almost like night should never come. Like it should just be there. You know, it was so hard. And so I can I can really imagine all of those things. So how did you in the middle of this? Did you discover any new passion, new interest, new purpose, as a result of this, this this experience? Yeah,

Michelle Abraham: 00:18:01

Ya! and you know, I think people experienced that tragedy usually a little bit later in life, when they have more tools and resources to be able to handle to handle it. So you know, being a teenager and dealing with that was a challenge. But you know, the I think what came from it is resilience and a drive to not settle and not be okay with just the average or status quo to always want to make the most of make make the most of the time and I know I said that are already earlier. But I really do think that really helped helped me discover really what I was meant to meant to do in life here. And it's funny, I just read just recently in my gene keys, I don't know if you know Gene keys, but my gene keys say, stop worrying about what your life purpose is and just continue living the life that you're living because that is modeling how, how that is your purpose is to model the life that people want to live in to live a life that's true to you and a life in alignment with you. So that particular pressure on me cuz I was like, Yeah, okay, here, I was wondering what is my purpose? What is my purpose? And I know the other part of my purpose is to help people get their message out there and I always see is because she didn't get to share her message. She was one of those incredible humans that was like far older in wiser than her age. And, you know, she obviously been here probably many times before and if she was here to really I think show show us that kind of with them. And I know I know, she's cheering me on from the other side because I had an Akashic Record reading once with my one of my other clients. Deanne and she asked, she said She said that this, this friend of mine came into the reading. And she said, the other side, she's like, Don't worry, Michelle, the other side is effing awesome. And this is not a way that Dan would normally talk. So it's but it sounded just like, like a friend how my friend would have said it. I was like, That's so funny. And so like, I know, she's there cheering me on and the other side. And so I feel like her message is to help me help other people get their message out there before it's too late before they don't have a chance to. So if there's something like, you don't want to leave this world with something still on your heart that you know that you want to share that you didn't get to share? Because of the difference and the ripple effect it's going to make with others.

Grace Oben: 00:20:39

Yeah. Absolutely. Michelle, one more question. What would you wish you knew, or you have you had known or understood before going through this experience of crisis.

Michelle Abraham: 00:20:53

I wish I knew to just stop and grieve and let the grieve through and let the group grieve, move through me. And to stay still in that moment, and allow myself the time and space to do that. Before jumping onto the next thing in the next adventure, adventure, thinking that that's the way I heal. So I wish I had the inner wisdom and knowing how to heal a little bit better and a little bit sooner, because I think it was at least 10 or 12 years before I really started to realize that I hadn't even spent time grieving.

Grace Oben: 00:21:33

So how did that affect your relationship with family and friends and even less their loved ones as a result of that experience?

Michelle Abraham: 00:21:43

Well, it's funny,

Grace Oben: 00:21:45

really bad, like, start really seeing like, the blessing of having your family like, what did that do to you? Absolutely.

Michelle Abraham: 00:21:54

Like just holding them so much tighter. And also, like, you know, a lot of people lose touch with their high school friends. And you know, I have to say that, you know, when we're not in touch, like, like, really frequently, but we're still all in touch. And I think that experience brought us as a group of friends closer together to in, we all experience that together and that loss together. So I think we've, we've held each other close as well. And yeah, and now being a mom and having kids. I can't imagine how her dad had felt hearing getting that phone call, that would have been the worst nightmare ever. And he'd lost his wife earlier that year. And so such a thing that I would I never want to experience as a parent getting that phone call. Yeah.

Grace Oben: 00:22:43

So Michelle, that what will you say to someone to a woman who is listening to us? Or maybe it might not be her friend? It might it might be some loss of of some kind, maybe a family member or a loved one who is listening to you and maybe going through real grief and pain and sadness? What will you say to them? I

Michelle Abraham: 00:23:16

would say be kind to yourself, be kind to yourself, allow yourself the time and space. And it's not something that you just get over the next day, or the next week or the next month or the next year even it's something that you'll carry a piece of it with you always but if you can find a way to find out what the blessing in in in that in that situation was and not that it happened to you, but that it happened for you. No, I think that that accident happened to my friend for me to be able to go on a different path than maybe it was I was going down before. And so what is what is the lesson that's, that's an unveiling for you. Amazing.

Grace Oben: 00:24:04

Thank you, Michelle, so much for sharing. I know I can even see that. It's, it's you still you know, the emotion is still there. Everything is still there. There. Thank you so much for sharing, and Hello beautiful people. That was Michelle Abraham, you know, just like she said, you might be out there listening to us or you might be going through some grief or loss of some kind. And you are wondering if this pain, the sadness is ever going to be over if you will be able to be happy again. You will be happy again. You know, as Michelle said, it happened for you, not to you. And as painful as it might be. There's always someone you can talk to. There is Always that blessing in whatever happens to us. You know, we, Steve Harvey will say, in every challenge every crisis, every situation, there is a blessing and use a lesson. And as painful as it might be, it's good to step back and said, What is the lesson in all of this? What is what is the lesson in all of this? Because that is the that is the beginning of healing. And you are going to be okay, everything will be just fine. And just hold them tight. If you need to talk to someone, you talk to someone. And so, again, it's a gap is open. And you can find me on Providence, providenceguide.com If you also need to find Michelle and Michelle like So Michelle, if they want to find your way can they find the beautiful, amazing, Michelle?

Michelle Abraham: 00:26:04

Awe, thank you Grace and I would highly recommend if you need someone to talk to you to reach out to Greece and she's got tons of tools and resources and support and such a good champion for for people that are overcoming anything in life and those hurdles and bumps and speed bumps that you said earlier. And if you want to add to catch up with me, you can find me at Instagram at highvibemichelle or add michelle@michelleabraham.com So feel free to reach out.

Grace Oben: 00:26:38

But again this is your girl Grace Oben and you can get your free gift for at graceoben.com free gift at Graceoben.com, and just have fun. Okay, have an amazing day. Bye. See you next week.